:: Express your needs.
Some people like to text every day. Some people need a lot of alone time. Some people want their partner to plan exciting dates. All of these needs are equally legitimate.
But your partner will never know what your needs are if you don’t tell them. You don’t need to open a first date with a checklist, but once things are clicking along, it’s okay to say, “I want you to feel loved and appreciated. How can I do that?” and when you’ve heard their suggestions, you can share yours. When they do what you asked? Lots and lots of acknowledgement and appreciation.
:: Give without any expectations.
I know it’s incredibly tempting (so tempting!) to keep a mental list of all the nice things you’ve done for your sweetie.
Picked up a new yoga mat because I saw hers was deteriorating...
Made reservation for Friday...
Bought his mom’s birthday present...
This mentality will only end in tears and resentment. We can nourish our relationships by removing the expectation that they to do the same things that we have done for them. Let your partner give to you because they want to, not because they feel as though they owe you.
:: Don’t stop caring about how you look!
Male or female, we’ve all done this, right? Constantly hanging out in our gym clothes and dirty hair, eating pizza for dinner three times a week. You want to find your partner attractive and – not surprisingly – they want to find you attractive. Help them do that by keeping up with your workouts and saving the sweatpants for alone time.
:: Cultivate intimacy and independence.
It might sound counter-intuitive but you can connect while also retaining autonomy. Don’t stop doing the things that filled you up now that you’ve found a partner. Keep attending those pottery classes, keep working on your novel – and keep telling your partner all about it and why you love it.
Just as important? Give them the space to pursue a few passions without you. You’ll both be that much more excited to come home and tell each other about your adventures.
:: Inspire your partner by loving yourself fiercely.
The more you love yourself, the more others will follow your lead. We’ve all witnessed it: the confident woman who maintains healthy boundaries always seems to attract amazing partners.
Do your best to identify your needs and meet those needs yourself. Need creative inspiration? Rather than trying to date an artist or force your accountant boyfriend to take drawing classes, buy a DSLR and get to shooting. Crave a more active social life? Don’t hassle your introverted girlfriend into house parties and nights out. Call up your most outgoing friends and schedule a night out, complete with cute shoes and cocktails.
We teach people how to treat us and when you nourish yourself with love and respect, the world – and your partner – take notice.
Great relationships don’t happen by accident.
Just like that sweet little vegetable patch in your backyard, the more you nurture and nourish your relationship the happier you’ll both be.
And what does that look like? Quality nourishment requires pausing, listening, and paying attention to your partner. It requires that you learn to love people in ways that are meaningful to them and listen when they tell you what their needs are.
Here are 10 ways you can nudge your relationship into a happier, healthier, more fulfilling version of itself.
:: Stop pretending to be someone you’re not and just be yourself instead.
When we are who we really truly are – weird hobbies and all – magic happens. Being true to ourselves allows us to navigate life and relationships free of hangups, emotional baggage, or expectations.
In the beginning stages of relationships, many of us focus on showcasing our best selves in an attempt to garner love and affection. We become ridiculously, painfully focused on making a good impression.
But being who you really are and being who you think someone wants you be – it’s hard to do those two things simultaneously. Take a deep breath, release those shoulders, and stop pretending and polishing yourself. Just be right here, who you are, today.
:: Smile at your loved one.
To the best of your ability, greet your partner with a smile when you see each other for the first time that day.
Imagine how good that would feel – after a tough day at work and sitting in traffic, you walk through the door and are greeted with a smile and a kiss from the person you love most. Wouldn’t that be an amazing way to start your evening?
This is not to say you’re never allowed to share the low points of your day, but maybe save them for dinner – rather than the first five minutes that you see your sweetie.
Other great times to smile at your partner: across a crowded party, before you part ways for the day, when you know they need encouragement.
:: Realize things change.
We’re living, breathing organisms – subject to the changing tides of emotion and circumstance. It can be emotionally crippling to get too attached to the “status quo” – not just in your romantic relationships but in life. Change is inevitable.
Next week your partner might wake up and want to change careers, move to the east coast, or have kids (like, soon). Can you allow space for that? Could you create a new life with him while he pursued something new?
And, of course, things will change for you – your passions, your career, your family, your health. When your partner tells you that they’ve got some big changes in mind – a new workout plan, a move to the country, no more dairy – do your best to listen with an open mind and heart.
:: Work out together.
Exercise gives you energy and it’s great for your sex life! Studies show people who work out regularly enjoy more sex and feel more aroused more frequently. Also, it’s a wonderful way to show your partner that you’re interested in your health and you want to stay cute for them.
Trying new workouts together also helps you bond! Take a couple’s yoga class, a hip hop dance class, or try rock climbing. Even if you’re terrible, later you’ll be able to laugh together about his terrible downward dog or your totally failure to pop ‘n lock.
:: If you want quality time with your significant other, plan it.
You’ve heard this advice before and that’s because it works! Make time for thrilling, exciting things – not just birthdays and anniversaries. As your weekend winds down, take a few minutes to schedule in at least one fun date each week – whether that’s trying a new restaurant, going for a hike, or catching a movie at the second-run theater. Fun things happen when you make time and space for them.
Stay tuned for part 2 of 10 Tips To Help Your Relationship Thrive!
No matter how hard you try to ignore it, your thirtieth birthday will creep up on you like Freddy Kruger in A Nightmare on Elm Street. And it may be just as scary. For me I felt like shouting at random people, “I’m not ready to be a real adult! I still wear an Elmo shirt to bed and I had ice cream for dinner last week!” But alas, thirty came for me whether I was ready or not. To avoid some of the panic of turning 30, I wanted to share my experience with you so that you can be ready too.
One of the first things I noticed about planning a party at this age was that it was hard to pin people down for a date to celebrate. Whereas before it was each to catch up and enjoy an evening out with friends, now people were scattered across the country or just super busy. It was interesting to see what everyone had going on in their lives and how that affected a simple Saturday night out. One friend had a baby on the way while others were working sixty-hour weeks; life had finally happened to my friends. It was so real, I actually had to send out a Save The Date for my get together as well as email invites (services like Evite and Paperless Post are great for invites). I realized that these moments of getting together and partying tip the lights come on were going to get more and more rare. This made the occasion all the more special for me.
I know this usually isn’t what you want to hear on your birthday and this may not apply to everyone but when deciding what to do for my big 3-0, I didn’t have an unlimited budget. I would have loved to fly all of my friends out for a mini vacay but that wasn’t in the cards. Instead I stayed within my budget and celebrated in town. I hosted a karaoke night at a local sushi restaurant, and served up cupcakes from Vanilla Bake Shop which is right around the corner from my house at the Century City mall. In the end it meant more to celebrate with friends and family than to have everyone shell out money for a trip.
I did manage to sneak in a last minute trip to Mexico but only because I scored a Living Social deal for a resort in Cabo. Travel deal sites like Living Social, Groupon and Travel Zoo are great tools if you just have to get away, but I highly recommend keeping all your financial goals (short-term and long-term) in mind while planning.
I had always wanted to go to this beautiful, coastal city and I was glad I could make it happen. While checking something of the bucket list for me meant a get-away to Cabo, for you it could be sky diving or driving a race car. But do something that you’ll never forget and make a memory that will last a lifetime.
Thirty is what you’d call a milestone birthday and it invites a lot of reflection. Beyond celebrating I really wanted to take inventory of my life and gear up for the rest of the year. Taking time to see friends and family and then sneaking in a little me time was the perfect way to do that. I feel refreshed and excited about what’s to come. But that’s just my b-day story. What’s yours? Tell us in the comments below.
“Why doesn’t he ever follow through with his plans? He’s SO FLAKY. He has so much potential that he’s not using. I could help him if he’d let me.”
“I wish she was ready to settle down. She knows I want a family but she’s so sure about backpacking through Europe. Maybe if I helped her get a better job she’d want to stick around … and get married.”
“Why is he always flirting with the wait staff? And why is he still listed as ‘single’ on Facebook? I don’t care if it’s just ‘innocent attention’ – if he loved me, he’d change.”
Sound familiar? (I can see you nodding from over here.) We’ve all been there – making a mental laundry list of the ways someone could ‘improve,’ an ongoing litany of their tiny flaws and all the ways we can polish and shine them to perfection.
But I’m afraid I’m captaining the good ship Reality Check today, friends. Trying to change someone is exhausting, disrespectful and (most importantly) 100% futile.
The upside of this? There is a truly life-changing sense of joy + liberation that comes with letting go of our need to control another. It’s when we let go that we finally feel loved and satisfied.
Pro-actively choosing to let go is different than clinging to something only to have it snatched from your clutches. Of course, actively choosing to let go of control – to let go of your need to change/improve another human adult – can be tough. But it’s also liberating and steeped in relief.
Borrow the courage to let go before heavy takes root.
When you proactively choose to let go you make delicious space for what you really want to show up.
When you let go, you allow the acceptance of “what is” to begin healing you.
You stop fighting a fruitless battle + bow to the perfect limitations of your situation.
With a heart ripped wide open you graciously, clearly understand;
:: This is all they have to offer + it’s not enough.
:: It’s time to move on. From this job, this town, this home. It’s been good but you must continue to grow–somewhere else.
Don’t wait until you’re “ready.”
The waiting is wrought with angst.
You have carried it and crouched under its weight long enough.
It isn’t until you give up on wanting them to change that you will find peace.
A few years ago, I was dating a much younger man who, for a plethora of reasons, I shouldn’t have been dating. I felt insecure about my age and finding someone who would love me as-is. My boyfriend was young and careless, partied entirely too much and eventually cheated on me.
After a lot (a lot) of meditation, journaling, and crying to my girlfriends, I realized that I could be at peace by accepting who he was and his choices, I could finally accept my responsibility for our relationship and for bringing him into my life. I decided to accept him for where he was in his life, and most importantly, to love myself. I let go of the weight of trying to fix him or wait for him to reach his potential and I felt hugely, immensely liberated.
When I began to love myself more + be more honest with myself, I made better choices. Since I knew I couldn’t change him and he couldn’t give me what I needed, with love and self-respect, I left.
If you too, would like to let go of your need to change your partner or to cling to things that aren’t working, here are five steps to get you closer to self-love and self-awareness.
1. Accept that the situation didn’t “just happen to you.”
This person you’re dating? They probably didn’t bang on your front door, insisting that you begin a romantic relationship with them. It is doubtful that you are being held against your will in this relationship. At some point, you chose to date someone who, for whatever reason, isn’t meeting your needs. You were actively involved in the decision to be in this relationship.
2. Accept the person for who they are and where they are.
My 23-year-old self is (thankfully!) very, very different from my 37-year-old self. In fact, I imagine my former boyfriends would be quite surprised at how I turned out. The same goes for everyone. Who we are, what we want, the type of love we’re capable of – these things change as we move through life. It’s not fair to expect a 25-year-old to approach relationships the way a 40-year-old divorcee does. Yes, that woman might make an amazing partner once she gets over her ex – but it’s not fair to either of you to sit around, waiting for that to happen.
3. Know on deep level that the only person you can change is yourself.
You’ve probably heard this a million times and maybe you’ve recited it over coffee to a few friends. But saying it and really down-to-the-marrow-of-your-bones knowing it are different. You can’t change the fact that she’s not ready to settle down, that he has a lot of growing up to do, or that she’s constantly running late. You can, however, change how you react to those things and whether those people are allowed into your life.
4. Celebrate your desires + truth.
Focus on your inner world, what you love about yourself, what is true for you, and where you want your path to lead. Instead of worrying about his financial stability, think about how you’re going to earn enough money to buy a little cottage in the woods. Stop focusing on what she does (or doesn’t) love about you and focus on what YOU love about you.
5. Take action in the direction of what you want most.
Building the life you want (filled with the right people) is a daily practice of step after tiny, unglamorous step. Big things start with small actions and those action always involve us and very rarely involve people who can’t meet our needs.
With love and respect, say goodbye to the people who aren’t right for you right now, and turn your attention to something worthwhile – creating a life that thrills you.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year; it’s time to break out the Uggs, the peppermint mocha’s, and the, um… dry, itchy skin? Pass!
Yes ladies, it’s winter time and although we have plenty accessories to help us look like cute little snow bunnies, (or for those of us in Los Angeles maybe just slightly less tan) there’s nothing cute about rockin’ dry patches of skin on our face. Celebrity facialist and skin whisperer Mersedeh Jeihooni knows a thing or two about salvaging our winter-worn skin. A cosmetologist for over 15 years and a medical esthetician that specializes in ethnic skin, Mersedeh is the answer to our skin’s prayers this season.
“Skin makes sense to me”, she says, and we’re glad someone understands it so they can help a sister out! Check out her winter beauty and skincare tips and make sure your skin is looking good enough to glow this holiday season:
Made Woman: Winter is here and our skin is feeling the climate change BIG TIME. How should we switch up our skin routine to adapt to the seasons?
Mersedeh: Think of your skin as your workout routine; if you do the same workouts day in and day out with no variation, you’re not going to see results. It’s important to mix up our skincare routine so our skin doesn’t get accustomed to any one product or stop responding to the ingredients in the products to where we won’t see change. I suggest swapping out your products every three months or so for the best results.
MW: Wow, that often? Good to know. So how much of our skincare routine should change with the seasons? Right now the sun isn’t shining as bright. Should we still make sure our products have SPF protection?
MJ: Absolutely! Although we aren’t dealing with a summer’s sun, UV rays are still present. In fact, UV rays are actually stronger when it’s overcast outside. To fight UV skin damage, always make sure you’re using a moisturizer with broad spectrum SPF and with an SPF level no less than 30.
MW: Winter skin could be itchy, flaky and dry. What can we do to keep our skin moisturized and hydrated?
MJ: A good facial. I recommend getting a professional facial once a month to asses your skin’s concerns/progress and then doing regular at-home exfoliation three times a week. To combat dryness, the easiest suggestion is to drink tons of water! Try to get a liter of water in three times a day and your skin will thank you later.
MW: Who doesn’t love a good facial scrub? Should we kick our exfoliating routine into overdrive during the cooler months?
MJ: I wouldn’t overdo it with exfoliation - you don’t want to take away too much of your skin. Make sure when you choose an exfoliation product, you choose one with super fine granules or scrubbing beads. The smaller the granules the better for your skin. Also, stick to an exfoliation routine of scrubbing three times a week, preferably exfoliating at night. And follow up your wash routine with a night time product, so that the active ingredients have time to penetrate your skin.
MW: With winter time comes holiday season and with holiday season comes the time to get glam for holiday parties. What’s some advice you could give to help us keep our skin looking fab for all the holiday face time?
MJ: Never ever, ever sleep in your makeup! That’s the biggest no-no. Make sure you’re staying hydrated and drinking lots of water. Fish oil supplements do wonders for hydrating the skin, as well. But for that extra holiday sparkle, I tell my celebrity clients to drink peppermint tea to get that glam goddess glow right before they hit the red carpet.
MW: Say we did party a little too hard at the holiday soiree. What’s a quick way to refresh ourselves to avoid looking haggard?
MJ: For puffy eyes, opt for an eye cream with caffeine. If you’re feeling like you need to cleanse your skin of all the fun from the night before, a quick detox of organic lemons and ground cayenne should do the trick. Boil water and squeeze the juice of the lemons into the water before sprinkling a dash of cayenne pepper into the mixture. Drink this little detox cocktail first thing in the morning after a night of partying. Detox aside, the best advice I could give is to make sure you sleep and get lots of rest.
MW: What are some DIY skin tips we can do at home to deal with winter skin?
MJ: At-home facials are an easy way to DIY winter skincare. Start with a wash and exfoliation (remember small granules!). Then give yourself a face mask. If you have oily or acne prone skin, use a clay mask; for dry skin look for a hydrating mask. After your mask, apply a serum like vitamin C to give skin that extra boost. Last, top it off with an SPF 30 moisturizer or night cream.
MW: If you could give us a top 5 for winter beauty and skincare advice what would it include?
MJ: Don’t sleep in your makeup! Don’t use bar soap for washing your body on your face. Our face is much more sensitive than our bodies and bar soap is way too harsh for our face. Clean your makeup brushes often, preferably once a week. Make it easy on yourself and use the same cleanser you use to wash your face to wash your brushes. Don’t self diagnose your skin. See a medical esthetician to learn what works best for your skin type. Don’t become a product junkie. Try on different products from different companies to find what works. Skincare isn’t a one size fits all industry. If you think you have oily skin and you try an oily skin product for a week and it didn’t fix your problem overnight, don’t rule out that product line. Much like our bodies, it takes 21 days for your skin to create a routine, so before you ditch a product for not working, give it a chance.
Great tips! For a personal skin consultation or to book an appointment with Mersedeh to assess your winter skin woes, shoot her an email. Good luck with your skin care routines this season ladies!
What comes to mind when you think of your online presence? For most, it’s all about what you don’t want the hiring manager to find online when you’re going out for that new job. The importance of how you’re represented online doesn’t stop there, though.
What about that hot new guy you just met at that networking event who goes home to do a little more digging on you to figure out if he really wants to ask you out on a date? Or the landlord of that dream apartment you’ve been looking for who wants to learn more about the potential tenant they’re considering leasing their home to? Before you hit “post” consider the impact of what someone can find and learn about you online.
Here are six tips every woman should keep in mind when it comes to managing her online presence.
Make a regular habit of checking in on what’s associated with your name online by Googling yourself every so often. A little hint to get the most accurate search results, in the upper right hand corner, under your Google profile image, you’ll see two boxes—one that looks like the silhouette of a person, the other that looks like a globe. By default, Google gives you personalized results when you search for anything online, based on your internet history. So in order to get the most accurate representation of what other people see when they search for you, make sure you click on the globe once your search results populate.
I’m a firm believer that everyone should own their own personal domain name. Not only does it help you manipulate the results that show up when someone searches your name, it’s also just a good rule of personal branding. Domain names can be purchased for as low as $10 a year from suppliers like Google and GoDaddy. And, these days, pretty much anyone can set up a web page that your personalized URL directs to. For example, I purchased my name www.ZoeZeigler.com on GoDaddy, then I connected it to a personalized web page I created using Wix that includes important information I want people to know about me. Now when I’m Googled, it’s the 2nd search result that shows up for me, right under my LinkedIn profile.
If you’re a MadeWoman, then surely you already have a LinkedIn profile already created. But a shell of a profile alone is not enough. The #1 personal Google search result for the majority of people is their LinkedIn profile. So make the most of it. Include a compelling and descriptive title for your LinkedIn profile. And fill out your profile completely with jobs, summaries and achievements. Make sure you also have an attractive picture, because it will likely end up being one of the first few photos people see of you when they look at your Google Image search results.
Even if it does not show up on your own profile or page, anything other people tag you in can be linked to you and found under your name online as well. Did your friend tag you in that Instagram post the night you all had a little too much fun? Well, don’t be surprised if it pops up in other places around the web as well that are connected to your name.
Facebook broadcasts to all your friends and followers what you like on that platform and other social media platforms. So think twice before you hit the like button. It could come back to haunt you.
Yes, you do need to watch what you say and do online, but that doesn’t mean you have to reduce your online presence to a bland and boring version of who you truly are. At the end of the day, people search and interact with you online in hopes of getting to know the real you a little better. You’re already amazing offline, so managing your online presence is simply about finding smart ways to express how fabulous you are online as well.
Dear Made Woman,
I've been seeing this great guy that I met on a dating website. He’s a successful lawyer, is intelligent, financially stable and all around a great catch. We hung out a few times and everything was good. I called him one night and he said he was out and would call me the following day. It's been one week and I haven't heard from him. All these other articles say to "give him space and then contact him in a few days to check in” or “just sit back and let things work themselves out.” They also say that I should let him “chase” me. What gives? What should I do?
What should you do? I'll tell you what you shouldn't do. You don't need to call him and "check on him" or "make sure he's OK" (sweetheart he is grown man and he's fine). Stop reading these articles that insist on you catering to a guy who doesn't even have the man parts to tell you what's really going on with him. (And please don’t allow the masses to convince you that “busy” is a valid excuse). You also don't need to arrange a girls' happy hour so everyone can sit around and "figure this out" over martinis and snacks. So to answer your question of, "What should I do?" DO NOTHING but LEAVE HIM ALONE. And I don’t mean “give him space” and secretly wait for his call. I mean truly leave him alone...out of sight and out of mind.This whole idea of a man chasing a woman is over-hyped. If you have shown you're interested in him and he hasn't responded, no amount of concerned calls or texts to him and/or nude selfies (you know how who you are…) will change that. Furthermore, do you even want a man around who doesn't think enough of you to call you in seven days? Move on and meet a new man, one that doesn't require an introductory course in common courtesy. When he does decide he's tired of dealing with whoever he is dealing with and gives you a call, you'll be so over him it won't matter to you one way or the other. (Although I’m sure his excuse will be a good one… Now, THAT will be worth sharing over drinks). Don't be weighed down by these games, just laugh and move on.
Made Woman Staff Writer
Autumn is my favorite season as a fashion designer and stylist for two reasons. For starters, it's not that hot on the West Coast and not too cold yet for you East Coasters. Second, you can wear a mix of casual summer pieces and winter styles and not look awkward. Running my own clothing line Michael Ferrera Custom Clothing means that I must stay on top of the latest trends. I’m just back to LA from fashion events in Las Vegas and New York so, in the interests of helping out all the Made Men out there, I’ll share the top five style tips gentlemen should have this season.
This is a style trend that ladies have used for years but through GQ, Esquire and all the other gentleman mags the dress boot has become more acceptable for men in the professional world. Hugo Boss, Allen Edmonds, and John Varvatos do a great dress boot, but you can find a bunch of comparable options.
Quite frankly the skinny tie is becoming the norm and a tie is always appropriate in corporate America. But if you really want to showcase your style opt for a scarf. Ditch the tie but accent your suits and shirts with cashmere, silk and wool scarves instead. A bit of unexpected flair is sure to turn heads.
Burgundy is a color that we in the fashion world have been exploring for a while now and it seems like it is here to stay. It adds some color when you wear ties, hats and accessories but you can also wear it this season in large pieces like suits and overcoats. It’s a bold statement but definitely can be pulled of by a confident gentleman in the fall.
This is not a new trend for the season but many gents just forget about it. Rather than keeping it casual on a date, rock an overcoat or a vest. Going somewhere fancy? Go for it with a three piece suit that will show how polished and grown up you are. Put in some effort to your wardrobe and layer your style this season.
Drop-crotch has been a stylish buzzword the past few seasons and it’s definitely a cool edition to your casual wear. This is not your first date outfit, but it works for your quick run to the mall, the market or your Saturday brunch date. Add some cool sneakers, a nice T-shirt and beanie to the drop-crotch sweats and she’ll think that you stay fresh for every occasion.
After The Hangover films were released, Las Vegas once again became the sought after destination to spend your last big night before entering wedlock. So here a few top tips for all you brides-to-be for planning a trip to the bright lights and casinos of Viva Las Vegas.
The agenda you choose for your bachelorette night will probably be determined by the size of the budget you have for it. If you want to keep costs down, then you can always hit one of the casinos in your hotel for the night. On the other hand, if you want to step out a bit more, you can try your hand a more up-market casino like the Bellagio or Caesars Palace. However, if you're a tech geek, then you have the opportunity to even play games at online casinos in New Zealand. If you want to get out and see the city there are numerous clubs, shows and restaurants to try.
Let’s keep it classy ladies! The matching t-shirts and novelty outfits are funny but not fashionable. Try something new and dress like you are a grown woman on your bachelorette night. A cute dress will do. And if you have to make a scene, add a “I’m The Bride!” button or sash.
While you might be tempted to hit the poker tables, if you have never played before your bachelorette, this is probably not the best place to start. Casino games like the slots will be the best option for those in the group with limited gambling experience (as well as being fast and fun to play). The members of your group who know the ropes a bit more will most likely be attracted to play poker and blackjack.
Have fun and be safe! Remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… unless you’re getting married.
This article was originally posted on Baucemag.com and was written by Nicole Thompson.
The core issue with “total access” is that it undermines trust. Any truth that your lover tells you can be undone by speculation, misinformation or by small lies and even smaller secrets becoming exposed, igniting insecurities within your relationship. Your partner writing on their ex’s wall or tweeting about being at a concert when he/she was supposed be at home studying becomes ammunition for future relationship warfare as soon as it becomes live information on the internet.
Someone once told me that my relationship wasn’t official until it became “Facebook official,” despite the fact that I’d been in a healthy relationship for over six months. Because I’m not one to succumb to groupthink, I dismissed the notion and continued my relationship without being virtually co-dependent on my partner or using social media outlets as a tool to absorb usually unattainable information…but that’s not to say that I didn’t take a gander every now and then. A close friend of mine, however, fell under the wretched spell of cyber stalking/social media crawling, and let it destroy her 10 year relationship with her fiancé.
With my good friend, what put the final nail in the coffin of her relationship was that she couldn’t stop obsessing about the fact that her ALL of her fiancé’s exes seemed to wander out of the woodwork, simply to friend him. Then, she found out that her fiancé was having regular conversation with one ex, in particular. This prompted her to snoop further. She gained access to his accounts after stealing his passwords. Once inside, she read all of his personal messages, emails and IMs. The insecurity unraveled her, and when she finally addressed his possible infidelities, all of her “evidence” was weakened by the fact that she attained it through dubious circumstances.
The fact of the matter is, there is a time and a place for social networks and the place is not within the confines of a personal relationship. And, if social media just so happens to be a large part of your relationship, then be mindful of the information that you share, and share with your partner how important it is that they don’t consort with their exes. Also, if you feel like you are too involved in your partner’s virtual life, then perhaps you should have a trial online separation while you work on your physical relationship.