August 24, 2011
It must suck to be poor and in love. While most young couples are freaking out about racking up debt and scraping together pennies for their weddings, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting theirs paid for by airing it on TV and selling exclusive photos to magazines. Making money on your own wedding? Yes indeed, my friend. Kim has already made her mark as somewhat of a cash cow, what with all the income she generates from her TV show, endorsements, personal fragrances and a clothing line. Now, she has even managed to monetize her marriage vows. You kinda have to admire her hustle. Well. As long as you don’t mind sacrificing things like, oh, I don’t know. Privacy, dignity, etc. But who cares about that? Anyone? (Bueller?) I mean, the girl was already richer than every single person in my family combined and multiplied by 500, and now she's marrying an NBA player and making a fortune off of what, in the past, was supposed to be a sacred ceremony. It's enough to make you want to weep for humanity, but the world somehow seems fascinated by even the smallest detail. Even though it pained me a bit to do so, I decided to check out the info that’s leaked thus far in an attempt to understand what the big deal is.
The big event took place this past Saturday, August 20, at an estate in Montecito, CA with a guest list ranging anywhere from 400 to 500 guests, depending on which source you read. Let’s just sum it up by saying a mammoth assload of people attended, shall we? Celeb guests included Ryan Seacrest, Julianne Hough, LaLa Vazquez, Ciara, Kathie Lee Gifford (huh??), Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan and Eva Longoria. All guests were directed to wear either black or white only, and apparently all the décor and the cake reflected that color scheme. Kim wore a total of 3 different dresses - all designed by Vera Wang. Sketches are included below but if you’re dying for the real thing, those exclusive wedding pictures will hit People Magazine this week. OK forget the dress, what about the ring? Well, her wedding band is reportedly set in platinum and clocks in at a whopping 12 carats. It’s safe to say that Kim’s $2 million 20.5 carat engagement ring is in good company, hey?
Kim was walked down the aisle by her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, but Kim paid tribute to her late father, Robert Kardashian, in a message on the wedding program. It read: “I so wish my dad could be here today to walk me down the aisle, but I know in a way he is here, and I feel his loving presence all around me. I love and miss you, Dad.” Aw. OK, that’s sweet, Kim.
Robin Thicke sang his song,“Angels” to introduce the couple for their first dance, followed by a set by Earth, Wind and Fire. So who catered the shindig? None other than Wolfgang Puck himself. Gordon Ramsey must have been busy that day.
A wedding like this must have set the pair back millions of dollars, right? Right! About $10 million or so, to be precise. But don’t feel bad for these two – they are estimated to rake in just under $18 million from the event. They’ll get between $12 and $15 million for the rights to air the wedding in a four hour, two part special on E!, airing October 9 and 10. All this plus the cash they're making for those coveted pictures. These two will probably spend their honeymoon counting their millions.
Unsurprisingly, there isn’t all that much info circulating about the OTHER member of this new couple, Kris Humphries. What did he wear? Do we know anything about this guy? Does he even speak? I doubt we will have to wonder for long. I bet you there is a new TV show in development at E! centered around their relationship. Look forward to E! eventually changing its name altogether to The K! Network. Let’s be honest; it can’t be that far off.
Bonus rumor: Supposedly Ray-J, Kim’s sex tape co-star and skeeviest guy ever, texted her on the big day saying, “And to think you have me to thank for all of this.” Of course, this could be totally made up… but I have seen some of this fool’s antics on For The Love of Ray-J (sadly) and it doesn’t sound too far out in left field to me. I’m not sure what it is about Ray-J, but whenever I see him on TV I have to resist the urge to punch the screen and wash myself in Clorox.
Okay, this may be hard to believe... but in all honesty, I don’t have anything against Kim or any of the Kardashians. The truth is, I think Kim is a gorgeous girl who has a lot of smart people behind her that have helped propel her to fame and fortune. I wish Kris and Kim all the best, but this wedding—as grand as it all seems—raises some red flags for me. The media attention and huge sums of money exchanged surrounding this event are completely over the top. There are so many more important issues to focus on - like our country’s soaring debt and the conflict in Libya, to name a couple. It’s kind of scary to think that we idolize and worship celebrities over people who actually make a difference in this world. I enjoy mindless entertainment as much as the next person (Jersey Shore, anyone?), but I do think it’s become a bit disturbing when someone’s wedding coverage is earning them enough money to feed an entire third world country. Just my 2 cents.
So, what do you think? Does having a price tag on your wedding demonstrate a savvy business move or a total lack of sincerity? Tell us in the comments below!