Wednesday, 27 August 2014 00:21

Social Networking Your Relationship To Death

Relationships // September 2, 2014

This article was originally posted on Baucemag.com and was written by Nicole Thompson. 

The core issue with “total access” is that it undermines trust. Any truth that your lover tells you can be undone by speculation, misinformation or by small lies and even smaller secrets becoming exposed, igniting insecurities within your relationship. Your partner writing on their ex’s wall or tweeting about being at a concert when he/she was supposed be at home studying becomes ammunition for future relationship warfare as soon as it becomes live information on the internet.

Someone once told me that my relationship wasn’t official until it became “Facebook official,” despite the fact that I’d been in a healthy relationship for over six months. Because I’m not one to succumb to groupthink, I dismissed the notion and continued my relationship without being virtually co-dependent on my partner or using social media outlets as a tool to absorb usually unattainable information…but that’s not to say that I didn’t take a gander every now and then. A close friend of mine, however, fell under the wretched spell of cyber stalking/social media crawling, and let it destroy her 10 year relationship with her fiancé.

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With my good friend, what put the final nail in the coffin of her relationship was that she couldn’t stop obsessing about the fact that her ALL of her fiancé’s exes seemed to wander out of the woodwork, simply to friend him. Then, she found out that her fiancé was having regular conversation with one ex, in particular. This prompted her to snoop further. She gained access to his accounts after stealing his passwords. Once inside, she read all of his personal messages, emails and IMs. The insecurity unraveled her, and when she finally addressed his possible infidelities, all of her “evidence” was weakened by the fact that she attained it through dubious circumstances.

The fact of the matter is, there is a time and a place for social networks and the place is not within the confines of a personal relationship. And, if social media just so happens to be a large part of your relationship, then be mindful of the information that you share, and share with your partner how important it is that they don’t consort with their exes. Also, if you feel like you are too involved in your partner’s virtual life, then perhaps you should have a trial online separation while you work on your physical relationship.


Published in Relationships

April 23, 2012 

In today’s world, the speed of connection has never been faster.

Our desires for human attention and self-expression have limitless opportunities with the Internet. From hobbies to dating to personal and professional networking, we have the bases covered.

Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Hootsuite, Tweetdeck, Pinterest, Myspace (yes, it still exists), FourSquare, Yelp, Couchsurf, Bing,  Google+, Instagram, Google Hangouts, BranchOut and Meet-Up are just a small sampling of what’s out there allowing us to over share and connect to our hearts' content.

Besides finding a new place to post a profile pic, the internet has so much to offer. There are thousands of sites all just a Google search away, including ones that could help us get to the next level in our careers. 

So, What Do You Do?

Taking it a step past LinkedIn, many industry-specific social media sites exist to help people in various professions. Are you in Human Resources? Well then there’s a site for you! Check out www.hr.com.  Are you in Business and Finance? Check out www.meettheboss.tv. Are you in Academia or Research? You’re good as well! Visit www.academia.edu. It’s like made to order career advice.

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There are countless sites out there, but here are a few, listed by industry, which may be useful to you.  And while this sampling by no means represents all that’s available, it should get you thinking about researching others like it and pondering the increased benefits it could bring: 

A Few Other Helpful Sites for Business Purposes

The list goes on and on.

These social media sites provide an opportunity to reach niche communities you might want to be more involved with for your job. It’s a way for you to connect with like-minded people, share thoughts and trends in your industry, and view content targeted directly to you and your interests.

It’s easy to see how a person can further develop personal passions just by going online and joining some virtual communities. More than ever before, people are coming together to build spaces for collaboration, and it is in our best interest to take advantage of these opportunities and join the party. 

What are your favorite career sites? Share your favorites in the comments below! 

Published in Business