May 7, 2012
So you have a man… But should you stay in a relationship that’s making you miserable on all days that end in the letter “Y”? Alright, I don’t know you, Made Woman, but I do know that the dilemma of staying or leaving is frustrating. I love Keyshia Cole’s jam “Let it Go” just as much as the next tortured woman, but it still didn’t give me the answers I needed, or the guts to make a decision. Honestly, only you know when you are done with a man, and until you are ready no one can tell you ANYTHING. But, I do have some suggestions to help guide you in the right direction.
It’s time to leave when…..
1. He is unwilling to talk about the future. If you are in an unhappy relationship and feel like you are constantly playing the board game “Clue” to determine your future, you have a problem. Your guy doesn’t have to flat out tell you to leave him, but he can show you he doesn’t care whether you stay or go. Pay attention to what he says and does. If he is disrespecting you, making no plans for your future together, and doesn’t seem to be interested in whether or not you are in his life next month: MAKE NO MISTAKE. HE DOES NOT CARE AND IS SHOWING YOU THE DOOR. Walk through it and blow him a kiss on the way out.
2. You have lost yourself, and some of your dignity along the way. Ahh yes, we’ve all been there haven’t we? You know, when you start doing things that are out of character, like blowing up his phone 50 times or so trying to find him, reading sex magazines that will tell you 60 ways to please your man so he’ll want you again. You stop doing things that you used to think were fun and drop your plans with your friends to hang out with him. For the love of all guilty pleasures in this world: STOP. Reclaim yourself and get the toxins out of your mind and spirit. Attract a man who makes you feel like the great Made Woman you are, not a dependent, sad leech.
3. It’s not fun. No seriously... you’re not having fun. Remember how in the beginning you used to have fun with your guy? Now all you do is fight. You feel like you’re getting played, don’t you? As if you are not as special as you once were. If you feel this way, you are probably right. Relationships all have their fair share of problems, but you should never lose the fun you have with your partner. Life is too short to be miserable, and let’s face it: with the right hair, make up and outfit, you can be having fun with your girlfriends and dating other men that will adore you.
4. He’s holding you back. It’s always hard to choose between your passions and your love. But if your man is holding you back from pursuing your dreams, it may be time to leave him be. You can’t fund your side projects because you have to pay his bills. You can’t make it to meetings on time because you have to drop him off at work too. I’m all for standing by your man, but there is a line, damn it.
5. He refuses to grow up. He loves you... but he loves Halo more. Or even worse, he loves his mother and house he grew up in so much, you’re spending the night with him in his twin bed. He wouldn’t dream of getting a place with you. And you can’t take him to any networking events at your job because he’s sure to tell a joke he heard on Tosh.0 and get you fired. If this is the case, it may be time to leave your BOYfriend behind and get a MAN who can actually support you and add insight to your life.
I know this is difficult. Your heart is probably aching. But, listen up Made Woman, you already have the answers. Pay attention to you, and put you first. You’ll get to look back on the moment you decided to get rid of him with a smile: that will be the moment you grew into the woman you want to be.