Ode To Big Bones
I love Me enough for the both of us trust, it's just my Big thing.
In spite of your judgmental nature
and piercing words that define your stature
A Big coping-mechanism of sorts is to blame…
Something to best explain why your face contorts when I stand before you.
B I G
Maybe it's my size that intimidates you
My extreme curves and chocolate thighs
make you look twice and think your thoughts through.
Have you hypothesizing what it’d feel like
to be inside of my Big,
hypnotizing
mind & things ...
seems like you’ve got some Big explaining to do.
I know I’m far different from the image
depicted on the silver screen
A sliver of society’s magazine pin-up wet dream
Seems its proved to be problematic
You write my name with only what your eyes have seen
Automatic-ally
B I G
And even though its not my job to fill all your potholes & shit
I guess you assumed all my excess thick would do the trick…
But Big intellect is not wearable, honey.
Try that on for size.
The irony of a Big girl possessing more swag than you do is unbearable..
I know, it can’t be true.
And when my Big mouth met your open ears,
I know the depth of my Big vocabulary was too much for you to handle.
You play pretend like my Big presence doesn’t make you uncomfortable.
Like this room isn’t big enough for me, you & your chauvinistic ego
Little do you know, relationships they come, they go
But I still remain here…
Proudly
B I G
I despise the way you look at me as if your stare isn’t see-thru,
I know your story so well, I could recite it back to you.
If I had a nickel for every time I ran over a superficial so’n’so like you,
I’d have collected enough dimes to fill up the space occupied by this one-of-a-kind
behind, combined with enough residual to change your cadaverous mind into
appreciating Big beauty… Soak it up.
This post was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself." Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
Hello Dream
Let’s get right to it
I've known you for a while now
and you’ve known me
forgive me for putting you off
never returning your calls
getting to busy for you
ignoring the thought of your involvement in my life
thinking you were too good for me
too big for me
and nearly too outlandish to ever be real
I have been your enemy
for years now
you've wanted to be my friend
I let fear break up our relationship
I let family doubt you
sigh
I even wrote about you
showed you to other people
but their disapproval drew us further apart
or so I let it
I got jobs in the meantime
filled my days doing tasks I hate
with people I don't like
and making money that will never amount to my worth
you would have never made me do that
In fact
while I was figuring out life
you maintained communication
you'd send me messages through commercials
and would have strangers talk about you in random conversations with me
I think you even prayed to God once
and asked him to disturb my sleep
so I can stay awake and have thoughts about you
don't worry, I'm not bitter about that
you're much better at consistency than I’ve ever been
you don't care what others have to say about us
you’ve never left me
and you never will
let’s try this again
I’ve grown up
thank you for waiting on me to come true
This post was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself." Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
We are all unique creatures who intrinsically crave individuality while also balancing our desire for companionship, love and acceptance. Often these competing needs pull us in different directions. Throw in a change in ‘relationship status’ and unfortunately some people let individuality take a back seat. Without a doubt, long-term relationships call for adjustments and sometimes we can lose sight of who we really are without even realizing it!
When we fall in love and begin a significant relationship, we tend to change our lifestyle to match our mates quicker than we’d like to admit. Maybe it’s happened to you or a friend. It starts with little things, like watching the same movies and eating the same food on a regular basis. Before you know it…*Poof* you disappear. You stop hanging out with friends and family and spend all your time with your new boo. You may even change traits about yourself just to make your significant other happy. And while being in love with someone else is amazing, so too, is loving yourself and preserving what makes you….you.
In the strongest of relationships, both individuals love and respect themselves just as much as they do each other. How can you accomplish this and as a result, not lose yourself in a relationship?
Here are some tips:
Make sure you are with the right person. You shouldn’t be with anyone who doesn’t love you for who you are at your core. Period. If you have to lose sight of yourself or change drastically to be with a certain person, this isn’t a relationship built on true love. You should be appreciated for your individuality.
Secondly, no matter how awesome your significant other is and how much fun you have together, it is always good to spend some quality time away from them. Take time to yourself, and also take time to enjoy the company of friends and family riding solo. Having this personal time will help you fully embrace the well-rounded person you are and also help you appreciate your significant other more. This allows you to embrace your own distinct personality and not become the exact same person as your partner.
Similarly, don’t be afraid to maintain some mutually exclusive friends. There is nothing wrong with having your own group to hang out with when you’re not with your partner. These friends are there to listen to you vent, enrich your sense of humor, and be buds in ways your significant other probably doesn’t (and shouldn’t) know how.
Also, remember to celebrate the things that make you who you are. Take time for self-introspection and identify the things you truly like about yourself and embrace them. Maintain the things you enjoy about yourself and the things that make you happy. If you liked softball before you started the relationship, you shouldn’t give it up just because your significant other doesn’t play. If you love video games, don’t be afraid to nerd out in front of him or her. Chances are – those little personality quirks are what made you so attractive to your lover in the first place.
Finally, know thyself. If you don’t know who you are, you could lose yourself with or without someone else. What makes you unique? What makes you different than your friends? Sometimes it’s difficult to describe yourself, so take a personality test if that helps. Keep focusing on personal development and make sure it’s okay to have different interests than your significant other. Always take the time to appreciate how the little differences you have can compliment your relationship as a whole.
Long-term relationships dominate the majority of our lives. Their tendency to limit our individuality can be successfully avoided with due diligence. Intimacy and individuality can make for wonderful bedfellows, so long as you identify where the distinction between “I” and “us” is in your relationship.
This post was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself." Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
“I love you,” I love you,” I love you.” It's difficult to muster up the words at first, but it gets easier over time. Interestingly, there's always anticipation and discussion surrounding when a significant other will say those three little words. But, how often do we say, "I love myself"? That phrase doesn't even look right to read aloud. Go ahead, try it: I - love - myself. Weird, right? But should it be?
Well, it's Valentine’s Day, the day for lovers! And, I have to be very honest with you, this holiday was a flop for the first 17 years of my life. If I had a crush, I always wondered if they'd ask me to be their Valentine. Well, that was until I turned 14. After that, I accepted that Valentine’s Day way just like any other day. I wouldn't receive candy or flowers (unless they were from my mom). Then on February 14, 2005, it happened. A guy friend gave me a teddy bear accompanied by a hand written card. We wouldn't fall in love forever, but he will always be my first ever Valentine.
I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Nevertheless, after 18 years of being single on February 14, I came to understand that I must love myself first. Several years of being in a relationship reinforced this belief. And you should love yourself, too. So, whether you're single or committed, here are four things that I believe are nice ways to give yourself some love on Valentine’s Day (or any other day).
1. Self affirmations
Ok, this may seem totally cheesy, but I promise it's helpful. Take the time to find three redeeming qualities in yourself. Are you caring, assertive, maybe ambitious? Write them down, say them aloud if you like, but whatever you do, don't forget them. It's important that you're always cognizant of your strengths. You'll be more self-assured, and additionally your partner -- prospective partner or ever perspective employer -- will think better of you.
2. Take some time for yourself
Even if you have a partner, carve out a sliver of time to treat yourself. Indulge in a nice run, a quite bath or find a moment to do something you love. Doctors say that people are more likely to be happy if they use at least ten minutes of their day to participate in an activity they love. So, indulge yourself a little bit and realize that it is an act of love.
3. Reassess your desired characteristics for your partner
If you haven't found the right partner, or even if you think you have, sit back and assess what you want in a mate and whether those characteristics are a positive influence in your life. I'm guilty of looking for things in other people that aren't healthy. After being in a long-term relationship, it's easy to forget that you and your needs are constantly changing and evolving. If you want to have or keep a relationship that's healthy for you, keep it real with yourself and keep communicating with your partner.
4. See the cup as full
Whether the cup is half empty or half full, it’s full; one part air and one part water. Today, give yourself a break. There are a million negative thoughts going through our heads everyday and unfortunately, these far exceed the positive thoughts. If even for a moment you feel like you can’t do something, scrap that feeling and decide, “I can.” It’s a wonder how many things you can accomplish if you stop pre-judging yourself. Who knows, your positivity may flow into the other 364 days of the year.
These are things you can do every day -- not just on Valentine’s Day. So try them out and see the results for yourself. Hopefully these exercises will bring you one step closer to being comfortable saying those three little words aloud, "I love myself."
This article was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself". Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
Ode To Big Bones
I love Me enough for the both of us trust, it's just my Big thing.
In spite of your judgmental nature
and piercing words that define your stature
A Big coping-mechanism of sorts is to blame…
Something to best explain why your face contorts when I stand before you.
B I G
Maybe it's my size that intimidates you
My extreme curves and chocolate thighs
make you look twice and think your thoughts through.
Have you hypothesizing what it’d feel like
to be inside of my Big,
hypnotizing
mind & things ...
seems like you’ve got some Big explaining to do.
I know I’m far different from the image
depicted on the silver screen
A sliver of society’s magazine pin-up wet dream
Seems its proved to be problematic
You write my name with only what your eyes have seen
Automatic-ally
B I G
And even though its not my job to fill all your potholes & shit
I guess you assumed all my excess thick would do the trick…
But Big intellect is not wearable, honey.
Try that on for size.
The irony of a Big girl possessing more swag than you do is unbearable..
I know, it can’t be true.
And when my Big mouth met your open ears,
I know the depth of my Big vocabulary was too much for you to handle.
You play pretend like my Big presence doesn’t make you uncomfortable.
Like this room isn’t big enough for me, you & your chauvinistic ego
Little do you know, relationships they come, they go
But I still remain here…
Proudly
B I G
I despise the way you look at me as if your stare isn’t see-thru,
I know your story so well, I could recite it back to you.
If I had a nickel for every time I ran over a superficial so’n’so like you,
I’d have collected enough dimes to fill up the space occupied by this one-of-a-kind
behind, combined with enough residual to change your cadaverous mind into
appreciating Big beauty… Soak it up.
This post was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself." Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
When we think about showing love to ourselves, automatically we think primp, prep and pamper. But when it comes to showing real concern for our own welfare through protecting ourselves, most of us don’t show any interest. Many of the women I know understand that there are dangers that come with being a woman, especially an attractive one. Yet, most of them also don’t think they’ll ever really become a statistic. I’m referring to that often-cited “1 in 6” American women who have been victims of attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes. That’s 17.7 million American women.* It’s a scary thought, which is why most of us avoid thinking about it until it happens.
However, sitting there and hoping it doesn’t happen to you isn’t your only option; there is something you can do—beyond just being careful whom you open the door for and never going out alone and all that. I’m talking about learning to really protect yourself – in a way more and more women are starting to embrace: Krav Maga.
Krav Maga was originally developed for the Israeli military, and it remains its official self-defense and fighting system. It has also become extremely popular within the U.S. military and among law enforcement agencies. It’s all about simple, instinctive movements applied to realistic training scenarios – situations you’d most likely face out on the streets where there are no rules. Its techniques are easy to learn, and you can become relatively proficient at Krav Maga in a short period of time. That’s what makes it so perfect for women. You don’t need to devote years to it just to get any use out of it; you can start learning useful, applicable moves right away.
Don’t believe me? Well, during my first Krav Maga class, I learned that if someone tries to put me in a choke hold, I should rotate with their momentum to hit them in the balls, use my other hand to push their nose back into their nose canal until they are forced to bend backwards, and then hammerfist their face – and then I spent half an hour practicing this. Meanwhile, I could see the level 3 and 4 classes next door practicing defending against knives and other weapons, and I couldn’t wait to get there. It was nothing like the karate classes of my childhood that I despised so much, where I spent countless hours learning to breathe right and perfecting completely useless poses. I don’t mean to insult anyone; I know karate is an art and a sport – but it’s simply not a practical form of self-defense for beginners.
And there’s another benefit: Krav Maga is an amazing way of staying in shape. It’s a tremendous full-body workout (just think about trying to hold a small pad in place as someone side-kicks you to the abs). You’re building upper-body and lower-body strength, flexibility, and stamina. And most Krav Maga studios now also offer cardio and CrossFit classes, giving you the option to add in some heavier workouts. You’re guaranteed to see your body become more toned than it’s ever been.
Interested? Check out www.kravmaga.com to look up a studio near you. There are 240 studios worldwide and 2 in Los Angeles – one in West LA and one in Sherman Oaks. The memberships are a bit pricier than your regular gym (somewhere around $150 in LA), but it’s worth every penny. After all, you’re not just staying fit – you’re learning to keep yourself safe. And there’s no better way to love yourself than to be able to protect yourself.
*Source: http://www.rainn.org/statistics
This month we are bringing you "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself". Each day we will release updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Join us as we seek to reflect, refocus, and reward ourselves! Check back daily on our "30 Days of Made" tab to see what's new!
Great quotes offer a brief glimpse into the psyche of the wise and turn profound concepts into something simple and attainable. Not to mention their ability to instantly motivate us! We love to post and tweet quotes that we feel other Made Women will enjoy, so we turned to our own staff and asked them to share the ones that speak to them most. We hope that they empower and encourage you to keep pushing on toward your dreams! We’re right here with you.
"You yourself, as much as
anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~Buddha
“Remember, if you ever need a
helping hand, it's at the end of your arm. As you get older, remember you have
another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.” -
Audrey Hepburn
"Shoot for the moon, even if
you miss you'll land amongst the stars." - Les Brown
"Don't wish it were easier,
wish you were better." - Jim Rohn
“Do or Do not. There is no try.”
-Yoda
“How can I love somebody else / If
I can’t love myself enough to know/ Life is too short/
To be tryin to play some games.”
-Mary J, “Be Happy”
"For I know the plans I have
for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans
to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius
“I'll sell ice in the winter,
I'll sell fire in hell, I am a hustler baby, I’ll sell water to a well” -
Jay-Z, "You Don't Know"
“Even if you fall on your face,
you're still moving forward." - Vincent Kiam
"If you are not willing to
risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” - Jim Rohn
“Shine like the moon/ And strong
like the sea. More expensive than money/ more valuable than anything. Juicy
mango summer peach/ Make a lame man walk and a full man hungry”
-Jill Scott, “Rolling Hills”
"Every day in every way I'm
getting better and better." - My grandpa
“Make the most of yourself, for
that is all there is of you.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Better to live one year as
a tiger, then a hundred as sheep." - Madonna
Share these, write your favorite ones down or print this out and keep it with you to help motivate you throughout the month!
This article was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself". Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
So, what was it? Did you promise to give up fast food this year or to take on more side projects? Did you pledge to stop dating men who play videogames? Maybe this year you swore to work out five times a week until 2013. Well, it’s February 1st and I have a reality check for your resolution: things promised in the midst of New Year’s excitement and between glasses of champagne rarely stick. Sorry, but it’s true. I know because I’ve tried many times to stick to my New Year’s resolutions and they never work out. I forget, don’t take it seriously enough, or get caught up in my excitement and set the bar too high. Either way I end up feeling worse about my situation by mid-January. #ResolutionFail
Really though, at the heart, resolutions are about change. They are about believing the newness that comes with a fresh, new calendar will mean bigger and better in our lives. This means willing and working ourselves closer to our goals. The intent behind the resolution is great, but who knows if the goal you set for yourself will even have meaning for you come summertime.
Maybe it’s time to try something different. A complete lifestyle shift. Instead of resolving to do random tasks (which you probably don’t want to do anyway), why not try changing your overall mindset? What if you focused more on giving yourself the time, space, and consideration to really grow? What if you committed to…loving yourself?
Wait one second, missy. I’m not taking about putting on a crown and calling yourself The Barbie Princess. And I’m not talking about telling your friends and family to kick rocks so that you can selfishly “Do You.” I’m talking about undergoing a transformation with us over the next thirty days so you can learn new ways to give more to yourself and those in your life. This will allow you to improve your frame of mind in order to achieve greater things—for your career, your relationships and your health. More self-love then self-lust.
And the outcome? Who knows. Maybe you won’t stick with us as we grow each day. But we hope you leave with something lasting rather than something that is thrown away along with those silly cone hats. Welcome to 30 Days of Made: Love Yourself Edition, Day 1.
This article was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself". Each day we released updates of videos, poetry, images, and original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!
made woman everywhere
Home | Style | Relationships | Business | Current | Entertainment | Disclaimer