He’s suave, has a great sense of humor, and is oh-so-sexy. You just met and your new love interest is very intriguing, but something about him makes you unsure of your next steps. Society is saturated with love/relationship advice and everyone is apparently an expert on the subject. There are all sorts of psychological twists and turns that everyone takes you on while trying to explain how to navigate the dating world. Sure, most of us know the basic do’s and don’ts of dating, but what about the phase when he is supposed to be “pursuing” you. Pursuing/courting/chasing are all different depending on the person, but there are a few universal signs that a man is “gaming you up” that are as bright as neon lights. To make it even easier I’ve organized these according to threat level for my fellow Made Women:
Threat Level Green: He uses lines that sound like they are right out of a romantic comedy. A Made Woman is not looking for rehearsed, scripted comments. She is looking for genuine ones. Although we want someone to know how to talk to a woman, watch out for “charm overload”, over- charming can quickly turn into a major game up session if you’re not on your toes.
Threat Level Blue: Spending too much money too soon. I know I have probably knocked the wind out of you, but hear me out. What’s too much? When it’s out of proportion for the situation. Example: $200 on dinner and you have been out with him on 4 dates. Or, buying expensive gifts too soon. When you don’t know the man, it creates a false sense of “like”. He’s gaming you up by BUYING you. You may become distracted by his “throw it in the bag” treatment and end up getting to know more about what’s in his wallet than who he really is.
Threat Level Yellow: This is a good one, and if you’re not careful you will be in the yellow zone without even knowing it. Your little rendezvous has been going on for a few months now, and you have not met ONE of his friends. Girl, you haven’t even met the cat he’s had since he was 10 years old. Secrecy about his social life, especially his friends, is not good: he’s keeping you from meeting them for a reason...think about it.
Threat Level Orange: He gets emotional too soon. Isn’t it so cute when you don’t answer the phone and your guy calls you back 2 or 3 times, leaves you a voicemail, sends you a text message saying, “Call me back gorgeous, I want to see you”? Sure, maybe. You know what’s not cute? The smoke and mirrors he’s creating by appearing to be so “in need of you” and the fact that you’re falling for it. Listen up girl, guys that are head over heels into you THAT fast usually get over you THAT fast.
Threat Level Red: He seems too good to be true. He swears up and down he plays ball for some random team overseas that you google and can’t seem to find. He’s got a good job, no kids, money, nice car, he’s handsome, treats you like a queen on EVERY level. Did I mention your mother loves him just from you talking about him? He says, “I’d marry you! You are what I’ve been looking for my whole life.” If I told you I was going to give you a million dollars would you believe me? No, you wouldn’t. Approach Mr. Too- Good-To-Be-True with caution. Let his actions do the talking, not his lips.
Now, we here at Made Woman are not trying to rain on your parade. If you feel you found “the one”, march on! We’ll be the Grand Marshall of your parade. But as you’re marching, pay attention to your intuition. If something feels off, do NOT talk yourself out of it. A Made Woman listens to her instincts before listening to her new guy.