February 27, 2012
I am constantly battling the syndrome of “Not Enough.” I’m that girl who is juggling bowling pins while balancing spinning plates on her nose and still feels like a slacker. Right now I’m a wife, a daughter and little sister, a best friend, a coach and a blogger, a grad student, a day job worker, and a regular 27-year-old who just wants to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race reruns in her PJs all day long. But for some reason I often get pulled into feeling like I’m not doing “enough.” All of my successes are not “enough.” In short, I am not “enough.”
Does this sound like you at all?
When you boil this syndrome down to its most basic roots, it has everything to do with our definition of success and our drive to compare. When I start thinking that I’m not doing enough, it’s because I start to feel like my efforts are not bringing me “success.” I’m doing all of this stuff but I am not “successful.” Or I’m looking at the people around me and feeling like my success does not match up to their success. But what does success truly mean? Does it mean that I make six figures from coaching, or does it simply mean that I’ve helped one of my clients unlock her passion? Does it mean I have thousands of Twitter followers, or does it mean that something I wrote moved my reader to take the first step toward living a fulfilling life? Success means something completely different for each and every one of us. Success is something that is deeply tied in with your own core values and your own mission in life.
Success is internal.
Karen Walrond has this to say about comparison: “Comparison is a colossal waste of time. You’re comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides.” When I compare myself to one of my peers, I have no idea what is going on behind the scenes of their business. I don’t know how long they’ve been working at it, I don’t know how much money they truly make, I don’t know if the life they’ve created for themselves even lines up with the life I want to create for myself.
So here’s a crazy thought:
What if you were “enough”?
Whatever you are doing, whatever you are feeling right this second is…enough. How does that feel? And how does that change your definition of success?
You are “enough” for everything that needs to be done right now. And you are “enough” because you’ve done so much already.
Your experience is “enough” for right now. Your story is “enough.” Stop beating yourself up for all the things you feel you should have accomplished. And for Pete’s sake, stop comparing yourself to others and putting their stories up on a pedestal.
Focus in on why you are enough precisely as you are this moment. Focus in on what success means to you right now.
Focus in on you.
Let us know what makes you “enough” in the comments.
This article was part of our series "30 Days of Made: Love Yourself".
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original content, all based on the theme of loving yourself. Click the link to read more!